Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Randomize
