Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
