The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize