watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I just want nice things and good sex
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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