shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize