Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize