1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
only if we run a train.
done.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
