dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
