I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
