Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
