Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
