Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
