My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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