she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
