and my herpes radar will keep us safe
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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