Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize