well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
