we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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