she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
