There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
