I need to stop coming to work sober
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
