those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
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