I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize