Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
