I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I checked into jail on foursquare
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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