You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize