So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
