okay pat passed out under dana's car
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
