Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
