He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
