I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
you never un-have a 4some
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize