I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
