I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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