The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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