my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Randomize
