Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
