I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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