so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
