He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
