I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
