it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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