and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
