Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
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