i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
