there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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