the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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