I can't watch pbs sober anymore
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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