just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
