check it out our google latitudes are spooning
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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