So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
