Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
