i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Randomize
