So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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