3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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