Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
