i just wanna soil my oats bro
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
try to milk me bitch
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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