She said her name was "party"
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
