So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
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