He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
