I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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