Me. At least after what I've been through.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
