I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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