The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
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