You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
