VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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