dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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