He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
