She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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