I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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