Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
