Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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