i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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