so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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