I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
