D3 body, D1 cock
Girls should come with a carfax report
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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