This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize