Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
